Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hitting the High Road

I'm feeling better than I was last time I posted. More energized. More awake. More like there's a big bandwagon heading somewhere new, and I'm packing up my junk and getting on it.
We're reading the book Do Hard Things in small group.
Basically, two teen boys put Got at the center of their lives, and challenge the status quo that teens are good for texting and getting drunk. Things for Alex and Brett Harris explode after that. They get to do really hard things, and ecourage other teens to wake up.
I've been doing yoga lately, and it feels great. Before, I was tired and listless. Now I feel like I'm productive and up for something to happen. But, as we learn in the bible, I can't just wait for God to make me president of some big movement. It's up to me to Do Hard Things.
Obviously, I'm not a normal teen. I think too much for that. Ha. I made a funny. But seriously, I'm living my life for the glory of God. According to the book Almost Christian, 3/4 of American teens associate with a religion, and a good percentage of that go to church. But before I came to Christ's Church, I never knew what it meant to live for God. To let go of everything, physically and mentally, and take up a cross.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do for God, but I think I'd make a good speaker, or even a youth minister. Maybe it's cause I like to talk, but I've been told I'm good at public speaking. And how awesome would it be to go around and talk about God for your job? I'll have an agent to handle all the paperwork and scheduling, while I go pray with people, or talk to them about their lives.
I think I'm rambling, but that means I'm passionate about something, finally, which could lead to great things.
After all, as Brett and Alex show us, kids are a useful tool in God's kingdom.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I haven't blogged in a while.
I haven't been reading my bible, so maybe I just didn't want people to know I'm a slacker. If I wasn't able to read it, that'd be cool, but I just choose not to. I don't feel close to God.
A bunch of crappy stuff happened a month ago, and it kinda shook me. I don't deal with death or pain very often, so it's like an itchy shirt. I just wanna get rid of it as soon as possible.
I think it's also cause I started school. I feel like the girl I was becoming over the summer is fading into the background, replaced by a surprisingly productive and busy teenager. But devoid of a relationship with the Creator.
I'm around a lot more people, and that stresses me out. Who can I trust, who can I talk to about God? I have to have my guard up at school, cause all these little dirty sinners wanna separate me and God.
Not true, but it feels that way. I just don't trust kids my age. We don't know who we are. We let other people define us. I let God define me, which makes me pretty lonely in a school of over a thousand.
So yeah. I feel lonely and detached from God. And like I'm not gonna get any help from the other lonely kids around me.
Smallgroup is up again, which gives us a family to help. And I know as soon as I get into a good reading schedule I'll feel better, but I'm just low now.