Monday, August 23, 2010

the fam

I hang out with my family regularly. Patrick and I live with my mom, While Mike and Chris live with my dad. This year, Chris and Patrick are away, leaving me with the drunken ECU pirate, Mike. I eat dinner with Dad and Mike usually. But it seems that every time I see them, my faith has to come up. It's an underlying issue that they won't overcome.

Yesterday morning in church, we read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. "Be joyful always; never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Chris told us to look for the joy in all situations. But today at dinner, my joy-seeking only seemed to highlight my family's pessimism and grouchiness. I don't understand why they can't be happy about anything. Nitpicking at strangers is an art to these people.

Jesus also tells us to wipe the dust from our feet when people are unresponsive. This is really hard though, because I want to belong with my family. They're in this bubble, and I'm on the outside. This is a terrible example of being joyful always, but it makes me really sad that we're so different. Your family is supposed to be your support system, but I'm up on a hirewire with no loving net beneath me. Only sniping and rolling eyes. They think I'm crazy and ignorant. They laugh at me.

So I have a family in Christ. In my church. It's not settling for second fiddle when I accept this form of family, but it feels like I am. Like I'm forced to go find a family, cause I'm not welcome in mine.

This was a lot of venting. But I really am so grateful to find acceptance in other Christians. It's just tough while I'm still under a hostile roof.

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