Saturday, August 21, 2010


Tonight, when I was Worshipfest, I started thinking about my brother's friend again. I've been strangely upset about it, since I haven't seen him in years. I'd forgotten he existed. Nevertheless, I was upset. Then tonight when I was worshiping, I got really angry. Zach shouldn't have died. If God loved me as much as I was proclaiming, why didn't He love Zach enough to save him from heroin and, I'm assuming, Hell. He knew Zach would go to Hell. He didn't care. This upset me a lot. Singing seemed pointless.
But I realized that it's my job to save people. Zach shouldn't have died, but I can keep other people from dying for the same reason.
I still haven't reconciled why God lets so many people go to Hell, but I know He loves us.

1 comment:

  1. Great questions.

    Here's food for thought.

    We all deserve Hell. IT's not that people who go to hell get what they don't deserve...that God should have saved them. IT's the opposite. People who go to heaven are getting what they don't deserve. Again, it's not that God is chosoing for some people to God to Hell..instead, if He's 'letting' anyone do anything...he's "Letting" some people go to heaven.

    It's hard to wrestle with this seeming contradiction about God's Love.I have more to say but It's more important for me to say, I'm really sorry for your loss. I hope you can find the rest in Jesus that you're seeking. I know I have been able to in times of loss. I also hope you are able to understand the simple fact of life that people die. Everyone dies. Good people, bad people, young and old. There are a lot of questions. but if we spend our whole life consumed with wrestling with the questions we can't understand we'll miss all the parts of life that have clear answers. Like, God does exist. God does love us. People do die. And we DON'T have to know why the wind blows to benefit from the breeze.

    Im praying for you and your family and Zach's family.