Tonight, when I was Worshipfest, I started thinking about my brother's friend again. I've been strangely upset about it, since I haven't seen him in years. I'd forgotten he existed. Nevertheless, I was upset. Then tonight when I was worshiping, I got really angry. Zach shouldn't have died. If God loved me as much as I was proclaiming, why didn't He love Zach enough to save him from heroin and, I'm assuming, Hell. He knew Zach would go to Hell. He didn't care. This upset me a lot. Singing seemed pointless.
But I realized that it's my job to save people. Zach shouldn't have died, but I can keep other people from dying for the same reason.
I still haven't reconciled why God lets so many people go to Hell, but I know He loves us.